Female Heath: Why Your Libido is in Decline?

March 26th, 2010

Many changes happen as people age. For females, one of the first signs of aging is a decreasing sex drive. Many of these are due to the changing levels of hormones in the female body. Hormones control a lot of the major functions in the body; estrogen, for example, determines sexual characteristics and the menstrual cycle. Other factors such as stress and pain also help contribute to a decreased sexual drive.

Female libido may vary from one woman to another. Although there are some factors such as age which are known to contribute to decreasing sex drives, the level of decline also varies with each woman. This is where other factors such as emotional stress and medical conditions help determine why a woman is having more rapid decline in libido.

Let’s look at the different factors that can affect a woman’s sex drive:

  • Age: One of the many changes a female experiences with aging are physical changes specifically in their sexual organs. Decreased muscle mass, tissue loss and dryness in the vagina causes soreness, irritation and itching. Decreased comfort and pain decreases sexual pleasure which may lead to a loss in sexual desire or libido.
  • Stress: Taking care of your kids or working long hours at the office does not only take a huge toll on your body but also diminishes your appetite for intimacy. We often find ourselves too exhausted at the end of the day and harboring thoughts such as sex is something we postpone or too tired to consider. However, eating a healthy diet or a few minutes of exercise help reduce the levels of stress and help us last longer in bed.
  • Medications: Declining sex drive or libido is also considered a health problem. Consulting with a doctor can help you manage this condition better. Medications do not only treat certain diseases but also affect normal functioning in the body. Voicing out your concerns and learning the side effects of your medication can help you determine if your medication is contributing to decreasing sex drive or libido.
  • Giving birth: A lot of changes occur in a woman’s body during pregnancy. Some women are more sexually active during pregnancy. This is because of the different changes in hormone levels and the increase of sensations in the female’s sexual organs. When a woman gives birth, hormone levels are again affected. Post-natal depression may also set in. When depression sets in, one of the normal changes includes decreased libido and sex drive.
  • Pain during intercourse: Aging brings a lot of sexual changes in a woman. One of these is decreased levels of female secretions or lubrication during intercourse. Females may also notice varying levels of vaginal lubrication during their menstrual cycle. This is because the changing levels of estrogen in the body affect female characteristics such as lubrication. Lack of sex drive could then be attributed to decreased pleasure during intercourse.

Decreased libido can be due to many causes; this condition may not have underlying physical factors. In fact, many women who are considered in their prime may experience varying degrees of decreased female libido or desire. This could also be due to relationship problems, psychological trauma, and negative self-image, and negative feelings toward sex. Consulting with a medical professional such as a doctor or a psychologist can help you determine the cause of decreased sexual desire or libido.

Kindly read through our answers before posting your questions as your query may already have been answered. We may not reply to your question if it has already been asked by someone else and replied to. Thanks!

Disclaimer: Results mentioned in replies to questions are not typical and may vary.

46 Responses to “Female Heath: Why Your Libido is in Decline?”

  1. Amy says:

    i am 26 years old mother of 2. My husband and are having many issues but the main one is me not having a sexual appetite. Sometimes I fake that I want to just so he doesn’t count how long its been. I feel really bad and I don’t think he understands me. I am extremely busy and sex just isn’t the first thing on my mind. I do want a sexual appetite so that I can initiate things for once. I feel like I am ruineing his life just because he complains so much. I think I need help or something and I don’t know what to do. I am sad and thing my marriage will end soon. Please help. Thanks

  2. Nikki says:

    Hi Kayla. How did you go with hersolution? Did it help? In your situation would recommend it? I feel I am in a similar position to you. Cheers for your thoughts, Nikki x

  3. Paula says:

    I have several medical conditions that cause lack of libido. I have an awesome husband but he deserves much more than I have been giving him. My concern about buying Hersolution is one of my conditions is Interstitual Cystitis which causes pain during sex. Different things can cause a flare up of my IC. Have you ever heard of Hersolution causing a flare up in this condition?

  4. Linda says:

    Man this is frustrating, I am so troubled by this I think it is actually adding to my depression. I use beg for sex, I have been married now for 19 years. It seems when I was at my peak my husband was not. Now all of a sudden my husband wants it every night and for myself it pisses me off to the fullest! It is like living ground hogs day over and over, he thinks every time that I got off but in the end nope… not at all. We use toys a lot but what use to make me orgasm in seconds could take forever so much so I get board, disappointed and give up. This even happens when I am by myself. It makes me feel like maybe I don’t even love my husband anymore… then I think if I was with someone else do I think it would change? I have no desire to even find out!! I already feel I suffer from depression and really need guidance with that. I spend countless hours thinking what I am doing wrong. I’m so lost in this any help or answers would be so helpful.

    • admin says:

      You might want to try a combination of hersolution pills and gel. While pills would help re-ignite your sexual desires, the gel would make sex a lot more enjoyable.

  5. kita says:

    Todd, Have you talked specifically about these problems with your wife? I am sure that she would appreciate knowing your truest feelings. I am sure that if she knew that you feel that you are more room mates than a married couple that she would be mortified. Thats pretty powerful and she deserves to know that you are feeling this way. Yes it will be a somewhat uncomfortable conversation but it needs to get out there.

    I, like your wife, have suffered from depression for a long time, and have also I am sorry to say felt the affects it has had on my marriage as well. But here is what I know:

    If you still want your wife, you have to let her know you want her. And its important to let her know that you not only mean physically but on an emotional level, which is more important to her than anything, I would imagine. Since we are dealing with an emotional issue here it is very important to make the distinction to her. She needs to know that you NEED her and that you WANT her, as a person before you need and want her in a sexual way. Most important, convince her that you NEED her and that you WANT her. If its anything like what I go through, I am very intuitive and if I do not feel the “connection” I can not believe what is being said. If she feels as empty as I do at times she will appreciate that you know how to make the distinction.

    You sound like you are clearly hurting over this. You need to let her know that you are hurting. you need to let her know how you are FEELING.

    But consider that although you can not necessarily relate to how she is feeling, that her depresion is triggered by something; money (or lack of it), kids if you have them, maybe she is feeling like they get more attention than she does, work, school, pets, death etc…. there are a million combinations. and each time something happens to trigger a feeling it compounds 10 fold, one on top of the last. And when its a bad day, and something else gets added to the pile its a vicious cycle and turns into a nose dive with a crash landing.

    Consider that the lack of self worth and emptiness that she feels at times is a very difficult thing to live with. Depression = lack of sex drive = lack of communication = resentment = division = depression… its a cycle. And if she is sensing that you are feeling the way you are, and she probably is, than that is also contributing to her view of her self.

    Todd, If nothing else I say makes sense, please just know that it is impotant to let her know that you love and need her, because if she knows that there is a light at the end of the tunnel of darkness that she lives in, than you are going to be pleasantly surprised to have your wife back.

    Yes, it will just take a little more time. And I know you have been patient and understanding – but if that hasn’t worked as well as you would like thus far, try an alternative method. Be her partner, her friend and get her out there – get her to laugh and do something different. Do something together. I suspect that since you are feeling the way you are, that there isn’t just distance in the bedroom but all accross the board with your whole relationship. If that is true and there is a significant divide, that is only making the problems that you are dealing with worse because there is no unification on any level. There needs to be a way to get the two of you to come together in a whole new way that will help you reconnect with each other.

    Make a rule – when you guys get home, before you do anything, hug, kiss and say I love you. Make it so that the distractions of every day life — computers, phones etc are away and when you are together, that you are together wholly.

    Good luck to you both.

  6. Michelle says:

    Hello I’m just turned 21 and I’m having trouble with my sex drive. I used to get turned on at the drop of a hat by my boyfriend of 3yrs, I still want sex the problem is I can’t get into it like before and I dont get as much lubrication either, I start out wanting it and right in the middle of it I just want it to be done. I hate that because I love pleasing my partner but it kinda hurts his feelings when I can’t reach orgasim. I feel like I should be at the top of my game but I’m not. We are very adventures so we tried new things to spice it up but It isnt getting me into it. I can really say that if i dont have sex anymore it wouldn’t bug me cause the lack of desire is just so great, but I’m not ready to let that happen if I take those pills or use the gel will it help jump start my sex drive like before?

    • admin says:

      At your age, these supplements have an excellent chance of re-igniting your sex drive. However, please check with your doctor first if some medical issue is causing this.

  7. Nikki says:

    I’m 32, my husband and I have been together for 14 years, and have always had a healthy sex life. 2 years ago, I had a procedure called novasure done which means no mestral cycle and no pregnancy, forever. It is irreversable. About 6 months ago, I started noticing that I wasn’t getting lubricated as normal, and rather quickly I realized I didn’t want or feel the need for sex. I am constantly dry, even with foreplay. We have tried so many different things to spice it up, but I still don’t have any type of urge. My dr says there is nothing wrong. Please help!

    • admin says:

      I cannot say that we have experience of these supplements’ results in cases where women have undergone this procedure. So I cannot guarantee their effectiveness in this case. However, it might be worth a try if all else has failed.

  8. Sapphire says:

    I am 48 will be 49 in February 2013 . Being married just about one year ago. Never was involved in sex in my younger years. Had a pitituary tumor removed in 1988. On bromocr*ptin treatment . Don not have this desire for sex and do not get sensation during lovemaking nor during sex . Sometimes get lubricated when breast nipples are caressed . Always fake that things are alright . Can any product help me get this desire or be aroused . I need that part of my life to be fulfilled

    • admin says:

      You might also want to try a combination of hersolution pills and gel. Over a period of time, they can improve your libido as well as make sex more enjoyable.

  9. Kara says:

    I have used Provestra and know what you women are going through. I’m 23 and after having my first child my sex drive was gone. When I started taking those Provestra in 2 weeks I did feel different it actually does what it says. Even my husband was much happier too. So ladies if your sex drive is not satisfying you then I would highly recommend you try Provestra.

  10. Jen says:

    I am 29 and I have always have had a high sex drive. Lately tho, there is nothing. My boyfriend of 2 years has been very understanding and we have tried many different things in bed. There is just really nothing. Stress and depression hasn’t really changed, but I’m worried that all of a sudden within the last few months, I have absolutely no sex drive and no desire to have sex.
    We have tried toys and as soon as I am close, I lose it. It is becoming very frustrating for me.
    Any suggestions?

    • admin says:

      You can try the supplements. At your age and with no apparent medical problem. there is a good chance that they might work and help you regain your sex drive. Of course, try to de stress yourself.

  11. carla says:

    i’m 59 and just began a new relationship.he loves sex but after going thru menopause i am very dry which makes intercourse not enjoyable. it takes a very long time for me to climax which puts stress on me and it’s easier to “fake” it. will these pills help?

    • admin says:

      You should possibly try the gel instead of the pills as it would instantly address the dryness problem. It would also help you climax quicker and stronger and make sex a lot more enjoyable.

  12. Todd says:

    My wife is 37 years old and we have been married for over 15 years. She had struggled with depression and was on several different medications for about 7 years, but has been off them for about 6 years now. She still feels depressed at times but not enough to get back on meds. Anyway for the past 8 years we have had sex very little and really not at all for the past 2 years. She has no desire to ever have sex again and wants nothing to do with taking anything to help her get arroused or help in anyway to want to have sex. She says she has emotional issues and that pills, drops or gels will not cure those issues. She is not doing anything to work on those issues. I have been very patient and do not even try to persue her anymore, so that she doesn’t feel bad about haveing to say ‘no’. I don’t have a marriage anymore, just a roommate. Is there any advice to get my wife back?

    • admin says:

      You might want to consult a doctor/psychologist to check what emotional/physical issues might be causing this. As you have mentioned, she is not willing to try any supplements/therapy which can help.

  13. sharon says:

    Iam 48 yrs old and ive been married for 6 yrs and i have the same trouble everybody else is. my husband is very patient. and i love him for that.i have no desire to have sex.i just need a boost, to help me along, he has no problems with anything.i can get there and the thought wont stay. IVE TOOK VITIAMS. nothing. that was ajoke. Now… im wondering does this product work. HerSolution work..

    • admin says:

      Hersolution works – but not for everybody. It is not a miracle. But considering the fact that you are fairly young and in good health, there is a good possibility of this working for you. So all the best if you decide to try it out. Do share with us your experience.

  14. tam says:

    do this pill make every woman breast bigger?

  15. Chrystal says:

    My husband came to me last night and said that we are in diffrent areas about sex. He is 34 and im 37. He stays horney and i never want sex. After we had our second child i lost all of my sex drive, that has been over 2 yrs ago. I had essure implants put in. I had to have the after birth surgerly removed throught the vigana. Now every time we have sex i hurt really bad and no lubercation. I ask him to use lub but it still hurts around my cervics. Help.

    • admin says:

      You should consult your doctor to check why it hurts around the cervix while having sex. Possibly there is a problem there that needs to be addressed. With respect to getting your sex drive back, these supplements have been quite effective for a lot of women and you could try them to see if they make a difference. They would also help with dryness and lubrication.

  16. Michelle says:

    I am 30 years old and have little to no sex drive. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and never had a problem in that area. My husband has been deployed for 3 years and now that hes home he wants sex every day sometimes more than once. I on the other hand could do without it.
    Its really starting to put stress on the relationship.
    I don’t take any meds, I don’t feel like I’m stressed, there is plenty of 4 play, and I don’t get dry during intercourse??? suggestions? Please!

    • admin says:

      HerSolution might just be perfect or you since you do not have any issues with sex. Only sex drive is your problem… possibly because you have been away from your husband for a longish time…

  17. Missy says:

    I am 26 years old, and I feel like I lost my libido. I am engaged to my boyfriend, I have 2 children, 8 and 5, and I seem to always be too tired at the end of the day, or early in the morning for sex. There was a lot of stress where I was living before with a roommate, however I moved out and my boyfriend and I moved in together a few weeks ago. He works 12 hours a day, and I work 6. He makes sure he has enough energy for sex at the end of the day, but I just don`t feel like it. My body doesn’t produce natural lubrication either, and when we do have sex, my “area” still feels uncomfortable 24 hours later! I also always have some sort of excuse like I am tired, the kids just went to bed and are probably still awake… I just cant seem to figure out why I have no libido anymore. HELP!!

    • admin says:

      Has sex become monotonous for you? Sometimes, being with someone for a long time can take the excitement away from sex and it becomes more of a chore. Possibly you are going through the same phase in your relationship. You need to spice things up a bit when it comes to sex. Try something new, play out your fantasies, try something different.

  18. sherry says:

    I am 46 and had a full histerectomy 5 yrs ago and it took away desire,fullfilment,just about all my drive for sex. I can’t concentrate or get into it at all. When we’re trying I try so hard to mentally get driven,but it doesn’t happen. My husband is an excellent partner & we’ve tried KY products because of dryness and lacks but still nothing. I miss how I felt when I had my female parts. Please help, I’d love something natural & safe. Thanks.

    • admin says:

      HerSolution is safe and natural and should help to get a part of your sex drive back. It has shown positive effects on women who have lost their sex drive after hysterectomy.

  19. Christine says:

    I am 60 years old, had one child a long time ago and wonder if I AM too preoccupied with satisfying my 9 year younger man. I used to be too much into sex, but that was in my teens and twenties. Now, between my (used to be husband)man and I are at a rocky part between us. He has even admitted that physically he is not what he used to be. Hell,when we were younger, we were the “right fit” for each other. Can’t say that I would like as it was, just a little more like the OLD days!

  20. Tasha says:

    I’m a 33yr old female who is experiencing no sex drive at all.I’m taking antidepressants and anxiety medication.I know one of the side effects is low libido but it was low before i started the medication.What can i do to put a spark in my sex life.

    • admin says:

      As you have mentioned yourself, antidepressants really do take a toll on your libido. Fortunately, a combination of hersolution pills and gel have shown promising results in reviving the libido of women in these cases. But do not expect miracles and it will take some time.

  21. Kayla says:

    I am 20 years old, almost 21. I have 0 sex drive. I bought
    Hersolution and am currently waiting on it to arrive in the mail. I feel like a terrible girlfriend because i simply cannot get excited..I have tried and tried but there is nothing.I cannot even masturbate anymore. I feel like I should be at my prime and it is so frustrating and depressing that I cannot give my boyfriend the physical attention he wants and deserves. I am giving up hope so if Hersolution does not work…I do not know what I will do..

  22. Mary says:

    I just turned 49 and I’ve noticed a loss of sensation in my breasts and vaginal area. It’s becoming increasingly more difficult to acheive orgasm which in turn decreased my desire to have sex with my husband of 27 years. My doctor has prescribed testosterone cream but I’m wary to try it due to undesirable side effects. Is this normal and what are your suggestions?

    • admin says:

      It is normal to experience this with age but testosterone cream will help. If you are concerned about side effects you may want to try natural alternatives.

  23. Heather says:

    Im a 23 year old woman with two children. after the second, i hav no sex drive at all. my husband and might have sex once or twice a month. i eat right, exercise, and am not taking any kind of pills with hormones in them. id rather not have medicinal help, so do you have any suggestions? this is really straining our relationship.

    • admin says:

      It’s common to have a low libido in the weeks or even months after having a baby. In the first six weeks after delivery, you’re likely to be exhausted, and possibly sore It’s common to have a low libido in the weeks or even months after having a baby. In the first six weeks after delivery, you’re likely to be exhausted, and possibly sore and overwhelmed. Your body needs time to heal. And you’re now dealing with the 24/7 demands of caring for a newborn.

      Some women may have discomfort during intercourse for months after delivery. Also you’re likely to have less natural vaginal lubrication in the first four to six weeks after the birth due to your body’s decreasing level of estrogen during this time. If you’re breastfeeding your baby, this dryness may continue for as long as you continue to nurse. Or it may return slowly as your nursing sessions become less frequent.

      There are plenty of other reasons you may not feel like having sex right now. Adjusting to motherhood may be stressful or emotionally all-consuming. You may feel less attractive or less confident in your changing body at this point. You may fear becoming pregnant again, particularly if you are using a new form of contraception. Or you may be struggling with baby blues or postpartum depression.

      If you’re not ready to resume your sex life yet, give yourself a break. You need time to adjust both physically and emotionally to the demands of caring for a baby, and there’s no need to rush into having sex until you feel ready. In time, sex will likely be as satisfying as it was before your baby came along.

      How do you get back to it though?

      There are many ways to be intimate. Take a few minutes to kiss and cuddle before falling asleep at night. Ask your partner for a massage or foot rub. Let him know that you appreciate his affection outside of lovemaking by saying things like, “I love it when you stroke my hair.” He’ll know the spark is still there if you let him know that a kiss on the back of your neck while you’re tending to your baby sends shivers (the good kind) down your spine. Of course, these supplements will help too but that can come later if needed.

  24. gabby says:

    hey, i am 18, no children, not stressed and completly lack a libido, every time my boyfriend even suggestes sex i just dont want to.. its not that im not atracted him anymore im not attracted to anyone i just dont want to have sex with anyone… i even stoped masterbating. this is putting alot of strain onto our sexual relationship, our emoinal relationship is great, but i worrie that it wont be for long, is there anything i can do to want to have sex again??

    • admin says:

      Hey… Have you talked to your doctor about it? It seems more like a psychological issue than anything else. Or perhaps some hormonal imbalance. These herbs might help but the effects won’t be instant. You should consult your doctor/psychologist and determine why this is happening to you before you start doing something about it.

  25. bob kaza says:

    I have not been intimate w/ my wife for a year. She, yes she, did this to me once before in the 8 years we’ve been together. She is not cheating which is what most men automatically think, but this time it was a few factors. 1. a car accident forced her to sleep on the couch. She’s better now, but still on the couch 2. from sitting on couch and doing less than zero exercise she’s put on weight- now it’s a self esteem issue. I’ve complimented, reassured, everything you’re supposed to do. 3 she’s lazy. So with this going she would never be convinced to eat right, exercise, talk to a doctor, buy a pill, topical gel toy or anything I know or have read about and suggested. I’m 41 and have the sex drive I had when I was 18. She in her own words could care less. She rarely ever gets horny she says. I’m pretty much doomed with this woman aren’t I? I mean the offer of oral sex- me on her and that be all doesn’t arouse or interest her. Any thoughts? PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

    • admin says:

      You story is quite common. A lot of women lose their sex drive for various reason (including age etc.). That is precisely the reason the market is full of stuff like hersolution which are designed to re-stimulate those hormones and bring the drive back. You should not get disappointed and possibly consult a medical practitioner who might be able to help with any physiological factors that might be impacting your wife.

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Kindly read through our answers before posting your questions as your query may already have been answered. We may not reply to your question if it has already been asked by someone else and replied to. Thanks!

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*Results mentioned are not typical and may vary